Last year, 22-year-old Gabby Petito went on a cross-country trip with her fiance, Brian Laundrie. In September her family reported her missing. Also in September, Brian Laundrie returned home to Florida, only to leave again two weeks later. Petito’s remains were found in the Bridger-Teton National Forest in Wyoming on Sept. 19. Her death was ruled to be from strangulation as well as blunt force trauma to the head and neck. Soon after, Laundrie’s body was found inside Myakkahatchee Creek Environmental Park in Florida. His death was ruled to be from suicide. A notebook was found near his body.
The contents of that notebook have just been released to the public, reports Fox News. Laundrie wrote, “I ended her life. I thought it was merciful, that it is what she wanted, but I see now all the mistakes I made. I panicked. I was in shock.” Laundrie, age 23, wrote 8 pages of notes in a small notebook before he took his own life by shooting himself.
Patrick Reilly, attorney for the Petito family who is suing Laundrie’s parents, speaks about the note:
Laundrie’s note reads:
I wish I was right at your side, I wish I could be talking to you right now. I’d be going through every memory we’ve made, getting even more excited for the future. I can’t live without you. I’ve lost every day we could’ve spent together. Every holiday. I’ll never get to play with [unintelligible] again. Never go hiking with TJ. I Loved you more than anything. I can’t bear to look at our photos, to recall great times because it is why I cannot go on. When I close my eyes I will think of laying on the roof of the van, falling asleep to the sight of a meteor shower at the crystal geyser. I will always love you. If you were reading Gabs journal, looking at the photos from our life together, fliping (sic) through old cards you wouldn’t want to live a day without her. Knowing that everyday you’ll wake up without her,
you wouldn’t want to wake up. I’m sorry to everyone this will affect, Gabby was the love of my life, but I know adored by many. I’m so very sorry to her family, because I love them. I’d consider her younger siblings, my best of friends … I am sorry to my family. This is a shock to them as well as a terrible greif (sic). They loved as much, if not more than me. A new daughter to my mother, an aunt to my nei[hews (sic). Please do not make this harder for them. this occurred as an unexpected tragedy. Rushing back to our car trying to cross the streams of spread creek before it got too dark to see, to cold. I hear a splash and a
scream. I could barely see, I couldn’t find her for a moment, shouted her name. I found her breathing heavily gasping my name, she was freezing cold. We had just came from the blazing hot National Parks In Utah. The temperature had dropped to freezing and she was soaking wet. I carried her as far as I could down the stream towards the car, stumbling exhausted in shock, when my knees buckled and knew I couldn’t safely carry her. I started a fire and spooned her as close to the heat, she was so thin, had already been freezing too long. I couldn’t at the time realize that I should’ve started a fire first but I wanted her out of the cold back to the car. From where I started the fire I had no idea how far the car
might be. Only Knew it was across the creek. When I pulled Gabby out of the water she couldn’t tell me what hurt. She had a small bump on her forehead that eventually got larger. Her feet hurt, her wrist hurt but she was freezing, shaking violently, while carrying her she continually made sounds of pain, laying next to her she said little lapsing between violent shakes, gasping in pain, begging for an end to her pain. She would fall asleep and I would shake her awake fearing she shouldn’t close her eyes if she had a concussion. “She would wake in pain start the whole painful cycle again while furious that I was the one waking her. She wouldn’t let me try to cross the creek, thought like me that this fire would go out in her sleep and she’d freeze. I don’t know the extent of Gabby’s injurys (sic). Only that she was in extreme pain. I ended her life, I thought it was merciful, that it is what she wanted, but I see now all the mistakes I made. I panicked, I was in shock. But from the moment I decided, took away her pain, I knew I couldn’t go on without her.
I rushed home to spend any time I had left with my family. I wanted to drive north and let James or TJ kill me but I wouldn’t want them to spend time in jail over my mistake, even though I’m sure they would have liked to. I am ending my life not because of a fear of punishment but rather because I cant stand to live another day without her. I’ve lost out whole future together, every moment we could have cherished. Im sorry for everyones loss. Please do not make life harder for my family, they lost a son and a daughter. The most wonderful girl in the world. Gabby I’m sorry. I have killed myself by this creek in the hopes that animals may tear me apart. That it may make some of her family happy.
Please pick up all of my things. Gabby hated people who litter.”
Some experts are skeptical about Laundrie’s version of events. “He tiptoed around the confession. He wanted to serve it up as a mercy killing. That’s the thing that is bugging me more than anything,” said criminal profiler John Kelly.
Obviously, this Twitter user isn’t buying it either:
Private investigator Jason Jensen claims that “Laundrie could’ve reached another camper or placed a 911 call in just a matter of a few minutes.” He also called Laundrie’s note “an attempt to rewrite history.”
Kelly said, “I don’t believe in all this accident stuff because how can you say you love somebody so much, you can’t go on without her, you love her so much you’re willing to commit suicide like a Romeo and Juliet? She’s hurt, and you will not go and get help for her. And not only will you not go the extra mile, you will not even report her missing.” Kelly believes Petito’s death was intentional and a result of domestic violence, not a mercy killing, saying “If she had been hit on the head, it was by him. I don’t think this was an accident.”
“Kelly said that the letter, along with Laundrie’s past behavior on police body camera in Moab, Utah, and in a purported fight with wait staff at a Jackson restaurant shortly before Petito’s death, exhibited signs of extremely narcissistic personality disorder and sociopathic disorder,” reports Fox News. Kelly stated, “[t]he only thing I give him credit for, in a way, is he decided to get eaten up by animals himself. In the end, it rang true he wanted to disappear. He felt he was a nobody.”
This was such a sad and tragic story that the whole nation watched unfold last year. They were both so young, with so much life ahead of them. What did you think when you read what Laundrie wrote? Did you believe it?