Next News Network

Now for the real news, brace for impact: teenagers are becoming sadder than a roomful of puppies watching “Lassie.” A University of Michigan poll shows teens are increasingly convinced they’re useless – just like dad’s pull-out couch during Thanksgiving. Dr. Jean Twenge blames social media and screen addiction for this surge in sadness. It’s like ninth graders are constantly starring in their own little “Black Mirror” episodes. Teens, entranced by Instagram’s siren call, now spend up to nine hours a day nurturing screen friendships, like houseplants nobody cares about. Pass the tissues; girls are suffering most, with likes and followers fueling Twitter caption-worthy comparisons. So, while delaying screen obsessions sounds like a start, we need bolder solutions, like a “Sweet 16-Can-Insta” law. Together, we’ll fight this silent epidemic – like keyboard warriors with a purpose. But for now, that’s all I’ve got. Get the rest, tap the link in our bio.