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Shocking Revelation! Lesbian Witches Create Force-Wielders in New Star Wars Series by Disney!

If you thought Disney had wrecked the Star Wars franchise already, it’s only getting worse. As of June 4th, the gloves have come completely off with their new series, The Acolyte. Essentially, Disney decided to put a waking nightmare on screens, and it’s set in a galaxy far, far away.

The Acolyte might be the latest chapter in the Star Wars saga, but it misses the charm, tradition and coherence of its predecessors. Forget the well-wrought narratives and charming characters of The Mandalorian and Andor. Where those shows retained a modicum of respect for the spirit of Star Wars, The Acolyte marks a stray from the beaten path.

The plot follows an ex-Padawan, Osha, wrongly accused of murdering Jedi. A twist reveals it’s her equally force-powered evil twin, Mae. But the kicker comes in the third episode, when we discover that Osha and Mae were the fruits of lesbian witchcraft. Yup. A couple of lesbian witches – who look like they’ve just stepped out of a CW teen witch show – fashioned and birthed the twin force users. Witness yet another forced diversity narrative combined with nonsensical theatrics.

Disney doesn’t stop there. As if the witch-birth storyline weren’t theatrical enough, they toss in a convoluted “ascension ceremony”. They’ve even got the two mothers dropping wisdom bombshells such as: “This isn’t about good or bad. This is about power and who is allowed to use it”. Clearly, the scriptwriters have seen fit to embed Marxist soundbites wherever they find place.

The twins’ backstory wasn’t any less delirious. Mae goes berserk at the thought of her sister training with the Jedi and torches the entire coven, her mothers included.

Who’s at the helm of this spiraling disaster? None other than Leslye Headland, formely an assistant to Harvey Weinstein. Not exactly a beacon of morality and integrity. Expect more of the same crippled storytelling and cringe-worthy soapboxing about feminist ideals as the series continues its run.

The Acolyte seems determined to further tarnish the Star Wars legacy with heavy-handed progressive narratives and series arcs that rail against traditional norms. What’s more disappointing is that Disney appears intent on accelerating this trend, rather than curbing it. Yet another casualty of the modern era’s obsession with woke culture and forced diversity. This series is disillusioning for all devoted Star Wars fans and a testament to the decline of quality entertainment.

In conclusion, The Acolyte is yet another Disney election to eschew timeless narratives of good versus evil in favor of murky moral relativism and convoluted plots. Fan hopes for a return to the appealing classic Star Wars spirit seem increasingly unlikely. Disney seems instead dedicated to plunging Star Wars further into oblivion. It is a sad spectacle for any follower of the epic franchise.

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